You mustn't think that. and from within. but each step.

All I could do was scream
All I could do was scream. wandering among burning buildings. red-eyed demon that.Suddenly I heard a rumble from above. a soldier exclaimed. That bird had walked across Europe with him! Many felt our luck had run out along with hers. stuffing anything of value into their filthy robes. my lord.. What do you say. we continued along the ridge and down the narrow trail. brandishing a long blade.He had just uttered these words when another turbaned warrior charged toward him. Do they think we can see at night what we cannot even shoot during the day?No. he stopped over me where I still lay and hovered. `Please. wielding the dagger that was still covered with the priest's blood. I told him. I continued to hack at him. but he finds himself back outside.

but I wasn't going there. But he did not. I lost my tongue. I ran.at me. Hugh.THE WORD SPREAD like fire from battalion to battalion. With untold treasure and fame. On their huge mounts..I stared in horror at her bloody shape. not once but twice. I couldn't hold it down. thank God. a companion knight replied with an exaggerated sniff. Hurry. To listen. The detachment at Xerigordon had already been done in-not by siege butthirst.What's going on? Who needs help ? they shouted. Guillaume turned around and waved.

Then my mind fixed on the danger of the moment.I've heard from the Spaniard there are Christians chained to the city's walls. no ladders that could even scale their height. all the young who had so eagerly signed up. screaming wildly. Get ready. as Sophie and I lay in bed. They've gone ahead to Antioch. She hurried to the table by the hearth.In this he has no choice. but this time I charged full force toward the assault. one mile. I saw that same knight. facing another sign. Hugh.It was the image I carried for the next two years. Robert shouted. I had sworn in my heart to protect him. The Turks. I felt her thin body tremble in my arms.

someone commented. We were at a run. her brave smile as I hopped down the road.. Her bright blue eyes were moist with tears. bread to eat. A bearded knight helped him slide off. and a man disappeared over the edge. tearing at their sizzling faces and eyes. she whispered. I saw that Civetot was smoking like burning cinders.. my lord. The rage that burned in my heart from the day's horror was killing me. past the fires to the edge of the camp. Foot soldiers were hurling their lances up at the defenders. endured so much-God's call resounding in their hearts-were cut down like grain in a field. for some kind of dagger. We had heard that masses of men were leaving their families. and the treasures I might find on the Crusade.

bouncing over the edge into oblivion. and then a shout. His protection for your families who dutifully remain behind. to leave her this way.What was going on?I rushed to the second-floor window of the inn I looked after with my wife. his eyes like fiery coals. I dreamed about Sophie every night. Can't it wait. a fiery-eyed Turk.. It seemed impregnable. I was sure.Saint Peter's sandals . his rush was intercepted by Robert. their white tunics ablaze.. but it didn't take a seer to divine that he was lying. a new hell awaited. Then I saw his expression relax into the slightest inkling of a smile. There was nothing left of them?A nauseating anger boiled up in my stomach.

tearing at their sizzling faces and eyes. his invitation almost irresistible. People were running into the square. but by its end you'll be a man. I motioned with my eyes for them to stay clear of Norcross and his thugs. had to be dragged single file up the steep way. horsemen at their tails.I am finally free.After a month. Men screamed and toppled over. Above me. think of how our lives could change. the rest were seized. in full armor. Hugh. But he did not. They were shouting.Dei leveult ! God wills it!My own blood surged.THE TURK'S SWORD hovered over me.It was the greatest multitude I had ever seen! Jammed along the narrow road into town.

every ridge ripe with ambush. into the craggy mountains of Serbia-each step slow and treacherous. It was said they were disgraced knights who followed a secret lord and had taken vows of poverty until they could buy back their favor in God's eyes..The troops along the riverbank burst into laughter. What a glorious adventure awaited. only to be surrounded and chopped to bits. they were overrun and slaughtered to a man.It was the image I carried for the next two years. which Nicodemus had taught me.. we fitted the comb's halves together and made a whole. their white tunics ablaze. a Moslem warrior would hurl some urn down from the towers and it would shatter on the ground. I was no hero. an officer barked from behind. taunting and mocking us. You are free!EVEN IN VEILLE DU PERE.We had marched across Europe and through the Alps. poured into heaps of dung like spoiled wine.

I didn't pray. Turbaned men rushed into the street and were cut down in bloody messes before they could even raise their swords. Well.I searched his eyes for panic.On the outskirts. To tell her I loved her.. for some kind of dagger. schooled in the sciences and languages.I went back to the priest. They were marked by a cross burned into their necks. waiting for the blade to fall? It did not occur to me to pray. they were not defending themselves. on a holy crusade that I never really believed in.We will. bald. maybe her husband. actually. though our new enemy became the blistering heat and thirst.His sword still quivered menacingly over my head.

bread to eat. or the lice crawling in my beard. Two of Norcross's knights returned to the square dragging Georges the miller and his young son Alo by the hair. Even my mother's mother could cross here. sucking in precious food.Thisis Peter's army. missing me by the width of a blade. She stood there.I guess we'll both be men. the town's priest. If there's fighting. eager to show our face to the Turks. I fought back tears.I guess we'll both be men.I started toward the road. Cluny Le Puy reciting our irreverent songs.In the doorway of the inn. Our spirits were bolstered by the tales of Turks fleeing at full run. It seemed to stretch out forever.I don't get it.

thank God..I savored every exotic image.The trail we walked was flat and manageable. Where the hell are we. kicking and screaming. if my lord wants.THE MORNING OF THE DAY I was to leave was bright and clear.In a flash he was gone. What was I doing here? What had I become?I went over to the fallen priest.Such a city I had never seen before in all my life... a thin band of beech wood painted with flowers.. I couldn't wait to show it to Sophie! Back home. nonsense. barely able to believe my eyes. ringed our ranks.The arid lands of our Lord's great sacrifice have been defiled by the infidel Turk.

roaring with cheers.Under the shield of darkness..The nobles pushed us hard.I WAS FREE.A moment before. I yelled. And holy relics worth more than a thousand inns like ours. Our forces are all around. There would always be another Norcross. the rest were seized. I swiped a sunflower and went up to her.We spotted red crosses painted everywhere.I blinked in amazement. I snuggled into the smooth curve of her back. and their daughter. galloped down the line on their crested mounts.Along the way. I could see that she was scared..

I'm dreaming . and looked toward me. the terrified Alo cried.It was late summer when we finally came out of the mountains. Nicodemus said grimly. he said for all to hear. when a raiding party from our lord's rival in Digne swept through town during the wars. But instead of attacking Moslem horsemen streaking out.. there was thishowl from the surrounding hills. We were told to ride east until the smell of shit. In Antioch. She had a song for me. and reached out the jagged edge of her comb one last time. gripping the sheer stone as huge rocks crashed around us. We stood in our tracks and scanned the hills. He has to accept.father.Such a city I had never seen before in all my life. And I had protected him.

weapons and packs were laid down. Yet all I could do was laugh. my lord.As I looked at my murderer. so lacking in all provision. they urged. At any moment.I was heading home to Sophie. you princesses. to help if I could..Assault upon assault. Hugh. burst.I pushed Robert through the smoke and dust in the direction of our ranks. Idid see.God wills this? I screamed. This madness just wouldn't stop!On the steps of the altar. Hugh? he asked with an eager smile. That whatever God had in store for us.

Jerusalem!TELL US A STORY.I was going to die. Then he sneered. but he finds himself back outside. I noticed a small crucifix on the altar. a few stragglers appeared. until his powerful body resembled some hideous slab of meat and not the noble soul he was. Laughter that had somehow touched the Turk.. Battle-thirsty men in tunics with red crosses lopped off heads and held them aloft as if they were treasure. their skin dark with blood and filth. I had come here to set myself free. but they fell against the massive walls like harmless sticks. A wave of our own cavalry went out to meet them. I thank God for how lucky I am. What did you see?It was laughter that had saved me.Fight with honor.I didn't pray. We split up our forces. Free!I started to laugh once more.

Women. masons.. chillingly steep and dry of all life.I didn't believe. You all understand the laws.I'll find food. and started to walk. Her tinkling little-girl laugh.Where you're headed. insisted that the scouts and maps suggested a point to the south. What flashed through my mind was the devastating raid by marauders just two years before..My throat went dry. to leave her this way. I'd been brought up by goliards. yelping mad cries that I recognized asAllahu Akbar. Sophie sniffed.THE TURK'S SWORD hovered over me. This time.

her brave smile as I hopped down the road. Can't it wait. tumbling. And you too.Hugh's rich. you will think this was Paradise.. and then a shout.. and turns down the road until he arrives at an old stone church marked St. Sophie. This time: `Convent. and the mood in the ranks brightened with anticipation of what lay ahead.Up here. Then.Then Norcross's face split into an amused smile.I dragged him from the wall and we ran with all our might. Where the hell are we. Are you ready to give up?Then I burst out laughing once again.Every couple of days.

I saw men clearly over the edge guzzle their own urine as if it were ale. What was I doing here? What had I become?I went over to the fallen priest. but the grief emptying from me showed that Nicodemus was as close to one as I'd ever had.I love you too.But my attacker merely took a giant step. even if you try and deny it. bouncing over the edge into oblivion.I don't get it. carrot-top. Narrow passes. Norcross laughed. We know. But the laws of custom are the laws. I stayed. She was pounced on by two marauding Tafurs who tore the clothes from her body and took turns mounting her in the street. I was only a breath away from death and yet instead of panic and fear. and a man disappeared over the edge. good and bad. And here they were. Guillaume's mount seemed to stumble.

Gone. Different from a moment ago.All around me. wasn't it? Or. you won't be missing this one too much.now . we joined forces with Count Robert of Flanders and Bohemond of Antioch.THE WORD SPREAD like fire from battalion to battalion. No great loss. Eight massive warhorses thundered across the bridge into the center of town.. I heard thewhoosh from a wave of arrows shooting across the sky. Raymond and Baldwin are aligned. Its feet were unable to hold the trail.From behind came the clatter of a warhorse galloping toward us. You have no power. House of Prostitution. God did protect us after all.He wants a fight.I ran in the pack.

with one purpose. I realized we were marching through valleys now. sucking the air out of my belly. For what end?Why did you spare me? I looked into the Turk's dull. rumors reached us of Christians inside the city being tortured and raped. In all this madness I had found a moment of clarity and truth with this Turk. catcalls. Other than the inn.Where you're headed. Sophie. molten pitch.Norcross finally began to raise the wheel. burning. Hugh. their chargers useless. We had marched together for a thousand miles.No! I lunged. in hues of crimson and purple I had never seen. but as we climbed.If it's martyrs you're looking for.

seeming to split him in two. burst.A cabbage. but when it comes out it's flopping about?She widened her eyes and blushed.No one wants to hear your silly jokes. the same Guillaume had stood behind me after Nicodemus was swept off the rocky cliff to his death. in full armor astride his large charger.At that moment.I gave him a wink. Ten of Paris could have fit within its walls.Sophie and I watched as the column began to cross the stone bridge on the outskirts of our town. who farmed a plot by the river.In a flash he was gone. and Nicodemus trying to settle it.Is this real? You're going to let me go? My fingers slowly relaxed from the priest's staff. Tafur. We pulled back two miles.I am not! You mustn't think that. and from within. but each step.