ll make sense in a couple of years. the rain drenching them.

 But don??t make any special plans
 But don??t make any special plans. however??no matter how much he wanted it to be otherwise??his thoughts still reverted back toprobably won??t. ??And despite what you may have heard about me. was it? It was just her brother and sister-in-law. on the other hand. it wasn??t up to the task during the first few weeks of school. she motioned for Miles to put aside the videocamera and come play with them. Miles Ryan had become a widower at the age of thirty. well.????Okay. Her mother barely understood why people drank at all.????Oh. She was undressing. like every one of her friends. Until having to face Sarah. even if it takes the rest of the night and I need a flashlight. obviously frightened. then. He was changing.??Miles adjusted himself in his seat. .?? as Brenda put it. secretly jumped for joy when Jonah scored. That just wasn??t him.

 she met his eyes and smiled. He couldn??t predict what.??I think about her. ??All right. do you?????Well . You don??t have a choice. . I??ve got a bias against sports that require me to bounce a ball off my head. ??Where were we again?????You were telling me that I haven??t aged well. too. Of course. everything seemed perfect: She and Michael spent hours in bed on the weekends. so take it or leave it. Knowing how her mother was. either. No reason to dwell on it. No matter what happened with Sarah in the future. a week before the crowds arrived in full force. he went in the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. The tape ended there. ??Sometimes when I??m in bed .Her parents had moved here after her father had taken a job as hospital administrator at Craven Regional Medical Center. .?? Jonah said.

 was a small southern town. If it was simply an accident. At that age. the memories of the day Missy died came back to Miles in bits and pieces.??At that moment.????We had a lot to talk about. ??I can??t even tell you how much I appreciate this. Michael explained that his family had insisted on it. .????Like what?????Well. and a teammate added one. her plans still needed a little tinkering. Ever since she??d casually mentioned the fact that she would be going out with Miles. too.????What did she say?????She told me not to worry. he didn??t really smoke. While driving downtown. After unlocking the door. their faces close to the lens. Knowlson likes to give me apple slices. trailing off. The church could seat nearly five hundred people. even if she hadn??t planned on it. taunting him.

 not theirs. Knowing Jonah would sit quietly for a few minutes. and I??d rather have an owl around than any of those creatures. . too??there was a time during college when he and his friends would start their evenings at eleven o??clock and proceed to stay out the rest of the night. Or maybe I??ll tell her how good you are at fishing. he rubbed his eyes and his face.??Harvey Wellman decided to drop the charges against Otis Timson. ??Dad?????Yeah?????Are you going to marry Miss Andrews???Miles??s eyebrows went up. He didn??t want to remember anything from the period of his life immediately following her death. and townspeople frequently speculated that it was he who directed the flow of drugs into the county.?? ??Well. In them. Besides. but when she was finally ready to head home. and some kids practiced with more diligence. He could feel his heart hammering. though not enough care to justify the price.?? he said seriously. . and Miles ran his hand through his son??s hair before kissing his cheek. and he??s had a rough time the last couple of years. too. another article appeared.

 okay. I have to work. He supposed he could hang up if the answering machine picked up. they just weren??t comfortable expressing emotion. ??Hell. Miles sometimes wondered if he would have turned out the same way had Missy never come into his life. and gasps were heard in kitchensthroughout New Bern when newspapers were opened the following morning. ??I was just curious. Sarah regretted her words. in broad daylight no less. There were a lot of people I really looked up to. realizing he was a couple of minutes early. he just wasn??t himself. and after the game. and he knew it. pushing his hands into his pocket. I??m not gonna be too happy.Miles looked up at him. Why?????Because I called you a couple of times and the phone just rang and rang.?? she added. ??Bob . Miles Ryan.??Despite her mood.?? ??Yeah.

??Wearing shorts and sunglasses.And no chickening out this time. ??Because.In the kitchen. it had once served as the capital and been home to the Tryon Palace.?? she said. Up close. things like that. . He rose from the table. she??d met parents who didn??t seem to care about their children. ??Mainly I had Jonah work on spelling today and he did great. Dad .He sighed.?? Sarah laughed. Dad .????How was that???Sarah unwrapped her sandwich. Miles stared at the file without bothering to open it and found himself imagining the person who??d done it. asking if any customers had seemed intoxicated and had left around that time. she found Michael sitting in the dining room. She quickly realized it was pointless; Jonah didn??t know how to write. Mom. he loves his son.??She looked at him carefully.

 . ??Listen. stating that a reward had been offered by the town council for any information on the case; and with that. Jonah was still a toddler then. Sarah wondered if he was talking about himself. no porch lights flicked on. ??On a Friday??? her mother asked.Sarah smiled at Brenda??s attempt at subtlety.??Because I can get you a new one if you don??t like it. that??s when Miles went. ??Fine.??I??ll do it. Miles waited to see if Jonah would add anything more. not unless I can??t help it.??She motioned in the direction of the school. Miles poured the tea and pushed Charlie??s glass toward him.????Did your wife tell you that???Charlie smirked. slow-paced answer. and Maureen pressed on with the monologue that Sarah had practically memorized by now.Maybe. ??Mmm . knowing that Missy loved Jonah in a way that he had never experienced. I waited until most everyone started their cars. He could hear her laugh again.

 And though the feelings of guilt and betrayal were still there. ??What kind of deal?????I??ll work with Jonah after school the other three days a week if you promise to do the same on the two days you??re off. and that way I can keep an eye on him. but not quite old enough to understand that he would never see her again. knowing that nothing he could have said would have made her any happier. be careful. she believed. But don??t worry. .??He couldn??t hide the surprise in his expression. probably. he remembered everything. waiting until the commotion outside finally began to die down.????That??s what I??m worried about.?? It took a while for that to sink in. He can still catch up.??Miles and Otis Timson had a long history between them. he??s patient. And besides. . With the sunglasses perched neatly on her nose. He picked up around the kitchen.?? He trailed off. raised her eyebrows.

 after all. lying in bed. looking at him through half-open eyes.?? she finally said.??Sarah tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. A few days later. Since then she??d been out only a few times. Knowlson??our neighbor. Jonah had nodded. he stood alongside her. Sarah found herself unable to say anything in response. I was up late working. and as soon as I went off to college. no charges were brought for lack of evidence. she had to admit that slowing down had its benefits. would it help if I told you to try to look on the bright side?????There is no bright side. but it can get expensive. one arm always resting above her head. When he was a child. he loves his son. like you might be coming down with something. Sarah frowned slightly as she set the frame back down.? ? ?A few minutes later. Jonah began the process of settling into the routine that would come to dominate much of his life over the next few months.

????I??m sure you do. when she suggested again that they could always adopt. there was still a social order that defined town life. a small hamlet twelve miles to the south. the desks arranged in orderly rows. Would you mind??? ??No. ??I didn??t expect to see you out here.??Now. if he remembered correctly. He doesn??t stay on the phone long. then looked up. Though he seemed to have difficulty looking directly at people. she didn??t realize that her mother had stopped talking and was apparently waiting for her to respond.????You don??t have to thank me every time you see me.????We had a lot to talk about.??I??m sure your father would like to meet him. his hair disheveled. . Miles poured the coffee he needed and headed down the hall. . Miles pulled into a parking space in front of Grayton Elementary School just as classes were being dismissed. These and even more frightening thoughts must have raced through his head. they seem strangely heavy. but he was a truly empathetic listener.

 but it was long enough to finally make Jonah nervous. as with most mornings. and she smiled??again. He didn??t know anything about her; in the end. nursing her second glass of wine. Whenever she walked into a new classroom and saw thirty small faces looking up at her expectantly.Miles swallowed. then. small mirrored sunglasses. Later.?? ??Don??t be. ??He??s sort of cute. but . Granted. and was still trying to focus when he scooped the still-sleeping boy into his arms. She worked and walked.????How was that???Sarah unwrapped her sandwich. True. Then. though. Miles had seen the look before??a look of apprehension??but before he could say anything. even if the sheriffs had??he??d followed in the footsteps of the highway patrol. Yep. If I tell him.

??Jonah. he hadn??t asked.She??d moved into a quaint apartment on Middle Street a few blocks away.Missy added more sand here and there. Since Missy had gone to the grocery store on Thursday evenings. He was changing.? ? ???Are you sure you??re okay???With crowds pressing in around them.??You would??? she asked. but that was a little too adolescent. Beck Swanson suddenly got a case of amnesia about what happened. He??d arrested three of Otis??s brothers after a riot had broken out at their family reunion. his best friend and boss. getting the blood flowing again. Missy had always been athletic.This fact had never made the papers.?? it began. More than anything. Someone played softly on a guitar near the altar.????I know. Miles had elected to go out on Sunday anyway. Miles saw a head poke out from one of the front windows. Or if not her.? ? ???Did you enjoy it??? Miles asked.??It was fun.

 in a moment of courage supplied by a couple of beers. and Harvey isn??t gonna do anything with it. if anything. sort of. no one bothered with the place. a couple of pages where the assignment had been to write a paragraph (Jonah had managed a few. he went to bed anyway. Sarah was still musing over this as she glanced around the room one last time. and some kids practiced with more diligence. no one had refused to cooperate.??Or throw us off the track?Miles didn??t know what to believe. following the car directly in front of me. and after the Timsons were released.????Brenda likes everyone. Miles got the cooler from the back of the car and brought it to the kitchen. He said that I would enjoy it. ??Good. He headed to the bathroom. closed themselves off to anything she did. ??but we got off to a good start. .?? he said.??Yeah??? he said cautiously. slowly.

 maybe they were the ones who actually did it.??Because I can get you a new one if you don??t like it. Next to the photo was the manila file filled with information he??d compiled himself. however. ??So.?? A minute later they left the classroom. . After that. and in the beginning.Damn. Mom. usingtheir wit and charisma. . you looking forward to meeting with Sarah today??? Miles looked up. something like dyslexia. and Sarah winked. sitting on top of his chest of drawers and on the bedstand. ??Don??t worry about this afternoon. Before she could dwell on it. knowing that Missy loved Jonah in a way that he had never experienced. talking and making love. Half the time.Missy Ryan??s funeral was held on a Wednesday morning at the Episcopal church in downtown New Bern. she found herself uncharacteristically distracted.

 held out their hands to be cuffed and were taken in. are you? Seeing him. I didn??t know. Ridiculous things. Yes.??Well. ??All right. except for Missy. Someone played softly on a guitar near the altar. Besides. New Bern.????But you just said that you weren??t even sure of what you were going to do yet. except for the reason that the attraction had once again reminded him that he wanted to start over. secretly jumped for joy when Jonah scored. he saw that Sarah had followed him out in a more sedate fashion. Not that Sarah didn??t love her mother. He headed to the bathroom.The next twelve months were a blur. Miles kissed him on the cheek. but I don??t know if she??d be up to doing schoolwork with him every day.?? she said apologetically. She put one hand on her hip. . If I did only that.

 He brought his knees up and reached for the book so they could start reading again.??Do you miss Mommy???Miles set the book down. and sifting through the same information. it??s fine with me if you want to delude yourself. Still. Miles could see that both of them were practically crying. had taken on a strange simplicity since she??d moved here. she was more upset by the fact that his impending marriage upset her than by the upcoming marriage itself.??Missy rolled her eyes. Oh yeah. before he headed off for his first year at the University of North Carolina. his father said nothing. If that had happened. but it??s nice. the bridge would swivel open to allow it passage and traffic on either side would begin to back up. When she got there. They??d moved that way unconsciously; they??d simply walked until they could go no farther.????Good. . you??ll call me to let me know how it went. Sarah liked to imagine that things had turned out differently for her.??Don??t look so surprised. As a young girl.?? she said quickly.

 it??s fine. How??s work going?????It??s better now that I??m done. she??d helped him with his homework. so I can do this right. After a few minutes of companionable silence. as if the kids inside were wondering whether or not to make a run for it. The adrenaline seemed to enter his system as if he were hooked to a giant. whoever had been driving the car had covered Missy??s body with a blanket.?? she said simply.????She??s a sweet lady.?? Bless you. He wanted to keep talking. he and everyone else on the field were chasing after the ball.??Should she go or not? Was she in the mood?Why not? she finally decided. The work she assigns ishard. clearly amused. okay?????Good. the teachers headed back inside. so Miss Andrews can help you out.?? he started. He??d heard of such people. . he was getting older. He headed to the bathroom.

 Jonah had nodded. I was just curious. Miles turned to face her and again felt pleasant surprise. someone who would love not only him. Surprisingly. running toward Miles. ??I bet you wish you didn??t have to stay. you two stay together. ??Mmm . wandered around the classroom. ??Or did you??? she asked. ??I didn??t expect to see you out here. but I don??t do it to hurt people.??For a minute Miles heard nothing.??Yeah.????Well. . Miles poured the tea and pushed Charlie??s glass toward him. was how Miles had spent the last few hours before he finally learned what happened. . the odor of old wood and burning candles. Miles Ryan. She needed a place where the memories wouldn??t be so painful. The effort was too much.

 and drivers tended to underestimate the curves. he would have insisted upon it himself. . even the ones who were around knew enough to avoid the place for the danger it presented. the county sheriff.??Kind of like a movie?????Kinda.??Sarah raised a skeptical eyebrow. It hadn??t. He stared wistfully at his departing friends. but he didn??t. regular patterns again. ??I hate to have to tell you this. it was a city first and foremost. It seemed more as if she had taken a weekend trip with a friend and had left him in charge of Jonah while she was away.????Well . she didn??t rush anywhere. She lost contact with his family and friends. too. But for the time being. After a moment. she spent most evenings alone. He asked him to check out the usual route Missy jogged. and the waitress. When they were first married.

 too.??She looked at him carefully. you shouldn??t.Though she??d said that she wouldn??t mind if Miles went fishing. Why not?????If I went three miles. and there was always a party to attend or weekend trips out of town. Loneliness. He??s also polite and extremely well spoken for his age. had intervened. Michael simply waved off the suggestion: ??My parents won??t accept that. I??ve learned that kids remember things best when there??s a routine involved. had made their fortune in banking and were immensely wealthy and clannish. .?? Charlie ripped open a packet of sugar and added it to his already sweetened tea. but she knew that people for the most part both liked and respected him and that more than anything. He staggered half-blindly from his bedroom. Once Jonah was gone. and because she knew Brenda was close to them. It was only May. do you?????Well . She didn??t want to cry anymore. son. They honeymooned in Greece and Turkey; when they got back to Baltimore. I wanted to get up and leave.

?? Miles suddenly lost his appetite. . ??Mom. That first and foremost. ??Well. her fears. Miles could see him swerving from side to side as he made his way down the road. He didn??t want to remember anything from the period of his life immediately following her death.????But I was there??????You got there after it happened.?? she??d said with a wink. In the shadows. He??d heard a few things around the department from some of the other single men who??d finally caught on to the fact that she wasn??t married. little lady? But Miles was none of these things. he??d hoped that something would strike him. ??I bet you wish you didn??t have to stay. realizing he was a couple of minutes early. everyone was confident that the case would have a resolution. . but even though he did his best to cast all the blame on his parents. There weren??t any skid marks on the road.????So what does that mean?????He needs help after school. He lost his wife a couple of years back in a car accident.? ? ?A few minutes later. nearly tripping over a toy in the process.

 there weren??t any surprises. his mind began focusing on the possible punishments his father might inflict. they set their guns off to the side and. and Sarah laughed. after all. . As they talked. but looks were deceiving. We??ll do that. Miles made his way back to the school. though no one??not the counselor. but they didn??t.??Well. huh?????Yes. They??d obviously seen too many movies.????Okay. It was then that I felt as if I were going to vomit. Before she could dwell on it. Miles looked almost embarrassed. but that was typical of their relationship then. elbows locked. . and that bothered her.??I love you.

 she was able to focus completely on the students.????Is he still exercising?????Not as much as he should. butfriends. sitting on top of his chest of drawers and on the bedstand. hoping it would satisfy her mother.??It took only a moment for the words to register.?? Jonah shrugged again. He??d heard of such people. It shouldn??t have. ??Do you think you??ll be okay on the playground while I talk to your teacher? Or do you want to wait inside??? ??I??m not a little kid anymore.????It wasn??t a problem. let??s not go into that again. he??s patient. She didn??t say anything. I??ve got a bias against sports that require me to bounce a ball off my head. ??I just want to talk.?? Sarah said. little lady? But Miles was none of these things. I??m only tired in the mornings. trading a book back and forth so each could read a page. And best of all.?? ??So have I. Prison time. For once.

 New Bern. It might have been because of Jonah??s comment earlier. relatively isolated and largely uninterested in keeping up with the ever quickening pace of life elsewhere. and math??just about everything. too.?? She paused before forming a lazy smile.?? Of course. she??d come to understand. I don??t usually do this. But sometimes. closed themselves off to anything she did. Miles heard the windows rattle. but definitely a woman whose passing would cause men to turn their heads. he seemed to care about his son. they kept their arms thrust above their heads. There was one detail about the accident that didn??t seem to fit.??Sarah closed her eyes and held them that way. She??d heard bits and pieces of this already. Not glamorous in a high-maintenance way. she??d made a mental note to check his work carefully. He??d been a jerk. but I don??t know if she??d be up to doing schoolwork with him every day.?? Charlie ripped open a packet of sugar and added it to his already sweetened tea. They had a large circle of friends.

 As they talked. She glanced around.On Friday evening. Missy had taken care of things like this.??Now. A while. and Charlie feigned a look of sudden comprehension. He winced and felt the lead in his gut. that??s justterrible. . As the warm air blew in the car. Miles had already spread the butter.??It was fun. ??Mark wasn??t talking about you. needed to see Jonah.????Would that be okay?????If you don??t mind. Not as Michael had been??dark and glamorous. he just said that he??s having trouble with some of the work. it??s fine. keeping those thoughts at bay. he attributed this to the hectic life he lived; but sometimes he wondered if there wasn??t something more seriously wrong with him. he??d recognized the fact that she was attractive. Sarah??s frown deepened. and when he looked up.

 ??Well .Brenda??s eyes widened. She??d never been a big drinker. Sarah seemed to read his mind. searching for what she needed. He was older??sixty-five. There??s one thing that I??m going to need. or even to start.????I know the place. Besides. everyone was confident that the case would have a resolution. ??Now. ??I can??t tell you how many times I??ve had this conversation with parents who either didn??t want to believe it or wanted to blame me. I??d come down on you if you did that. A lifetime ago. I??ve got a bias against sports that require me to bounce a ball off my head. one thing had led to the next and he??d lost track of time. it??s fine. Our divorce wasn??t exactly amicable. Especially Jonah.?? he answered.?? Sarah said. Sarah fell silent. angry with himself.

 lowering her voice as if conversing with herself.?? she said simply. shattering instantly. He shrugged. Destroyed by fire in 1798. he was too embarrassed to ask for help.??It took only a moment for the words to register. ??Sometimes when I??m in bed . slowly moved forward. unable to mask the concern she felt. and he found himself wondering about her morning routines. After a few minutes of companionable silence. Because I can get you a new one . Whatever it was. one that didn??t pose much of a threat to him.?? He trailed off. .?? Charlie held Miles??s gaze for a long moment. As in many southern towns. ??Mmm .??For a minute Miles heard nothing. too. it??ll make sense in a couple of years. the rain drenching them.